7 Days, and counting!

                          Well I am 7 days away before I can take my first pregnancy test. I am scared that it will be a BFN*  Every time I test it always is. I want this more than anything in the world and now I am here testing every month. This is actually the first month we really really put effort into it but, I really did think it would have been easier than this. I mean common how hard is it for the swimmer to meet the egg. Then I question myself or question him why cant it just happen. I see people getting pregnant left and right and I'm like its so easy for them. I just don't get it. I am absolutely an emotional wreck the last two days. I have been very irritable and very sensitive. I pray and hope that isn't AF* rearing her ugly head. But I guess if it doesn't happen I am going to the Doctors on the 30th and hopefully we can figure out why I am not conceiving. My husband changed Doctors and cannot be seen til August. So even if I come back with good labs we have to wait til August for him to even get a referral to see a specialist for him. We are praying for our little one, I feel like Hannah. I just want my baby and I will give him/her right over to the Lord. I also have to trust that God has all of this planned and I know what my dreams have told me. I also had a really good friend recommend a product for me to take. Red Raspberry leaf tea capsules. Have any of you used this? Did it work for you? I mean at this point I am willing to use just about anything crazy, She said they were not trying to avoid pregnancy for a year and then after the year decided to use it and 3 months later she was preggers, she just had a healthy baby girl. But anyone out there used it and it worked? Let me know. Well I'm gonna go now. Hope to hear from you readers :)

*Big Fat Negative
*Aunt Flo

Happy Birthday!

6/21/1985 was the day my lovely Husband was born. We have been celebrating since last night. I made a nice little video of his 28th year and the things that happen in it. He was overwhelm by it. He really enjoyed it. I will post a link of it at the bottom of you wish to see it. Last night 
We talked about our future children and was blessed at the idea of our own someday. With the celebrations going on we decided to stop by a local park where my nephew was playing football. My mother was there, step dad, sister and two bother In laws. My mom looked at my husband and said happy birthday. He said thank you of course and then she said, wouldn't that be awesome if you found out if y'all got the house today. See for the past 4 months we have been waiting to hear about a house that we can rent, it's a cute little 2/1 with a HUGE back yard for our lovely pitbull. Each month  we've waited and waited, something always came up,. The owners closing on their new house got pushed back, the husband went out of town all sorts of stuff. So we prayed and prayed along side with a group of friends.  Today the friend in contact with the owners texted me saying we got the house. This is a huge blessing for us. We are so excited that we cannot stop smiling. It's just blessing after blessing. In the way home I said to myself I hope this means we will be pregnant this month. I will be ok if not but it's just all these blessings at once. I know it's not much of my TTC journey but I had to share... Thanks everyone who reads these blogs, have a blessed weekend and baby dust to all. 



http://youtu.be/p2oKp1pDkkA

The video I made for him. ;). Enjoy.

Men just don't understand. Or is it women don't?

                                 

               First I would like to start that my husband is the most kindest, sweetest man I have ever met, But I just don't think he quite understands where I am coming from. Last night was the actual Ovulation day, well at least based by my app on my phone. I really should have done a ovulation test but I didn't. So we tried last night. I am currently using a product called Preseed which has healthy vitamins and stuff for his swimmers, its says insert 15 minutes before intercourse, so my poor husband had to wait. Its not so romantic this TTC, but I guess we gotta do what we gotta do. :) Don't get me wrong its still very fun and enjoyable. However my husband was like Oh my goodness we have to wait 15 minutes, it made me laugh but its just something we had to do. He then went on to the whole "just relax it will happen when it will happen" which those statements from people really piss me off. He also said which is a true statement, Hunny we still need to go to the Doctor and get your thyroid under control first. My thyroid of course might be hindering our chances as well. But I stepped in and said the least we can do it try. He said yeah your right. A perfect statement for me to say OK lets go... Afterwards I laid with my legs in the air. HEHEHE I am willing to do anything even if it means to do things that are outrageous or maybe even a wives tale.. He then snickered at me. Making a loud statement again, saying "OH MY GOD". He said "babe you really really want this don't you?". I said "babe you know this", and I said "since I was a little girl there were two things that I always dreamed about. My wedding, and my children". He just smiled at me. I said "babe don't you worry you are going to be a wonderful dad", He said "You really think so?" The face he gave me was a face of relief, I was totally breaking all the lies that either have been told to him or he has thought, we are about to celebrate his 29th birthday, With his birthday approaching he is going through all these emotions like what if I am a terrible dad or what if I am not ready or what if what if? Is this normal for men? He tells me he wants to be a daddy but then also has concerns?! I think his fear is that he isn't gonna be good enough. He had that same fear as we were dating that he wasn't going to be a good enough man for me. He was always worried that he was going to let me down, which eventually lead to a small break up. He couldn't be without me, just less than a month we were back together but he has these fears that I don't relate to because I don't have those fears, I just flow with it. So is it me that doesn't understand or is it him? I don't think that this is even a question, we are two different human beings just trying to start our family. Our conclusion for the night was no matter what happens we are going to be awesome parents. We laughed and enjoyed our night. I couldn't have ask for a more understanding husband. People say that no relationship is perfect, But I can honestly say ours is pretty darn close without boasting. It just the darn truth! I wish sometimes that we had hidden cameras in our house to prove it. But we know its true and that's all that matters. I love you Travis Bryant you make my world go round and you are wonderful Husband and I know you will be a wonderful daddy. Happy Birthday sweet husband. Cheers to many more.

Should I or Shouldn't I, That is the question.

Dear, Friends, Family, TTC community and WWW.
     Should I or Shouldn't I blog my troubles experiences, heart ache, laughter, joys? This is something I have been wondering if I should do. So now I have decided that... I will be Blogging about my experience and my thoughts, my joys and heart aches. I have been wanting to do this for sometime now but just haven't had the courage too. I was afraid of rejection, trolls, made fun of but Now I feel like doing it so I can receive prayers and guidance and advise. First let me start by saying this. What I do not want to hear is... Negative comments, Comments that may or may not offend me. Its not that I cannot handle it but I want to hear positive reinforcement, kind words, and real genuine prayers. Also this will be a TMI blog if you don't want to hear it. Leave now! With that said here we go.

        I married my Husband Travis April 1, 2014. He is the kindest most sweetest man I have ever met. Him and I currently have 4 nephews and 3 nieces. We love being an aunt and uncle but we know we want our own. The hardest part for me is since we have been married which I know hasn't been long I have noticed no CM. I have been concerned because of is that we have not conceived? I am going to the Doctor on the 30th and discussing all of my problems. I am praying and hoping it is a quick fix. I also am going to start taking prenatal vitamins and eating more greens. I already drink a ton of water so that is awesome for my health. It is difficult and I keep hearing people saying don't worry it will happen, don't stress about it. Keep positive. But the most kinds of people I hear this from are those who smell boxers and get pregnant. The ones that can just think a thought and it comes to pass. I am the one who has had dreams of my children since I was a child, the one who waited til she was married to decide to have children. (BTW I am not perfect I was not a virgin). I just hate it. Hate to wait, Hate not know. Hate worrying about not knowing, Hate waiting til my Doctors appointment. Its just all these emotions. A few nights ago after our fun time TTC my husband laid his hands on my womb and prayed a sweet prayer for us to conceive. He was genuine kind and so amazing. It made me realize how much I want our little family of two Adults, Dog, Cat, and two bearded dragons to become whole with a little munchkin. So with my mind going five hundred miles per hour. I write me first blog as a prayer request to pray for our future family. Thanks for praying. I will be back.